pridefilled:

she’s embarrassed — he’s not the only one feeling shame creep up. she’s supposed to be cool and unattached. and, in all honesty, she doesn’t give two damns about prom — except she does, for some reason — she blames it on the expectations of being meredith sulez. they all expect her to be there, standing at elena’s side, the ice to the doppelganger’s fire. she is a part of the royal court, after all. to no one’s surprise, of course. she has a place standing on the stage while elena, or perhaps caroline, accepts the queen crown. 

maybe she wants that to be her. maybe, for once in her entire life, she wants to be standing in the spotlight instead of behind it, and maybe she wanted him to be there with her.  ‘ it’s — it’s stupid. i’d much rather spend the night in with you. i can’t, because i have to be there, but i would much rather be here with you, instead. ’  the brunette sighs, shaking her head. she brings her hands up to rest on his chest, a sheepish smile tugging at her lips. 

she doesn’t know why she’s so goddamn nervous around him. butterflies invade her stomach, and her chest, and they bat their wings so hard she can barely manage to breathe. she’d never been this way around a guy before. they’d never made her feel like this before. she’s learned, and continuing to learn, in their time together, that he’s not just any other guy. she can’t breeze around him, ineffable and cool as ice. he doesn’t slide off her armour like other guys do. he’s stuck to her. and she doesn’t want to say it, or even think it because then it makes it too real, but she may have actual, romantic feelings for him. fuck. 

his lips twist into something of a humored smirk, though without the gusto normally associated with such an expression. they grew up together, so of course he knows her, but it hasn’t been until the last year that jeremy truly began to understand who meredith sulez is underneath it all. she did all this for elena– acting almost like her spymaster the way she could manipulate the general population to enable his sister’s queen bee status. no one wanted to consistently stand in their friend’s shadow while she was worshiped again by the collective student body. hell, it’s what drove caroline from elena’s good graces– jealousy, sure, but it was more being fed up with being second best. surely the blonde couldn’t be the only of his sister’s friends who felt that on some level.

“of course you have to go. elena needs you there,” his head cocks to the side, brown eyes staring down at her as he moves closer. they both knew that her actual power rested in the people around her, and anything less than a full entourage would have the sharks circling. and meredith cares too much about his sister to let her be unseated. –and, well, jeremy cares too much about meredith.

he reaches out and gently brushing the tips of his fingers along the tendrils dangling by her jawline. “and you need me,” an exhale, “so i’ll be there. as your date, your back-up, your whatever.” his thumb caresses the soft skin just in front of her ear. he resists the urge to lean down and kiss her; he’s trying not to let his gaze wander to her lips. jeremy has already misread the room once. this isn’t supposed to be some grand romantic gesture (it would be a shite one anyways!), and the last thing he wants to do is send out any more mixed signals than what he’s already trying to push down. but she looks at him and he wants to do just that– make things complicated. instead, he just grins a boyish grin. “it’s worth it just to be there with you.”

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pridefilled  im a weak weak man  
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