mikaelsonsister:

REBEKAH LISTENS TO HIM WHILE SHE CLEANS BLOOD FROM HIS FACE, and she purses her lips, her brow furrowed. she thinks about what she’s going to say carefully because she knows it very well be the difference in whether or not he flips the switch. that’s not something she wants to happen to him. but she can’t hold onto his humanity for him, all she can do is be by his side, whichever he chooses. and that’s what she’ll do. always. 

‘ i never truly wanted to die until my first kill. ’  she says, quietly. she’s never told this story to anyone, save for her siblings who were there. but even they never spoke about it since. it’s something she’s been holding in for over a thousand years.  ‘ she was a little girl, about nine or ten, i imagine. ’  her words are slow, hesitant. this may not even make a difference, but she has to try. for him.  ‘ she lived in this tiny village that my family and i… ’  massacred.  ‘  kol had killed her parents, and i went looking through the house for others. ’ 

and she found her.  ‘ i was so hungry. and i knew that if kol got her — ’  he would not have been merciful.  ‘ so i snapped her neck, and drained her tiny body of blood. ’  she didn’t notice until now, but she’s crying, and she hastily wipes away the tears before he sees.  ‘ the point is, you have two choices after your first kill. after every kill, really. you can let the guilt crush you so much that you turn it off so you don’t have to feel any of it, or you can bury the dead, and move on. it’s harsh, but so is this life. so the question is, what are you to do? ’ 

he sits in silence, allowing her to fill the room with her words to help her come to terms with his fall from grace. of course he’d rather stew in his misery, bath in the disaster he’s welcomed into his life. this is the person he’s always been, the person he was always going to be. stefan saw it, all those years ago when he tried to convince him that this wasn’t the life jeremy wanted. the younger salvatore would have let him die, and would have fought to defend his decision. he would be horrified to discover what elena’s brother had become.

and while the female original is trying to relate to his struggle, he doesn’t see himself in her. instead, his mind is instantly drawn to the mention of her brother, a being he once called friend,  reflected in the way he turns to watch her expression curiously. her movement is not fast enough, and he pauses the writhing of his hands long enough to brush a thumb over the curve of her cheek. her skin is so soft and cool– such a contrast to his own–, with a trace amount of moisture he smooths away. “in denver, your brother pretended to be human to trick me to trust him.” and it worked; he was my friend. “do you think he would have eventually–?”

jeremy never finishes the question, shaking his head as he looks down and away. he doesn’t really want to know the answer, anyways. christ, there was blood everywhere. he can’t escape it. somehow, though, he feels his elongated canines begin to retract into place. “i’m not going to turn it off, rebekah. i need to remember how this feels. but i also need… i just need time.”

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mikaelsonsister  v; and baby makes three  rebekah: casually mentions her brother  jeremy: kol kol kol kol kol kol  
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