kxboom:

he doesn’t take. they always do; her innocence, her agency, her hope stolen by those who want nothing but to see her stripped of everything. joshua gives — truth for truth, piece for piece — he gives her equilibrium. he doesn’t want anything she won’t give him, which is so terrifyingly unfamiliar, she about laughs. and that’s just it, he absolutely terrifies her because he makes her feel alive. surviving was easy, she had made it something of a practice — living she hadn’t quite mastered. all she knows is she forfeits survivor’s diligence  for ruinous recklessness when it comes to him.

he thinks she’s enough. cherry lips part with refutations poised between but katherine chokes them back because she wants to be.  it’s a pipe dream, at best — she’ll disappoint him merely as a creature of habit — but. right now, she’ll chase the feeling all the way down the rabbit hole. katherine smothers a smile, squeezing the fingers tangled in her own.

he kisses her. he kisses her and she’s nearly too fixated on concealing the color in her cheeks to comprehend. it doesn’t take her long, however, to respond; she frees her hand from behind her back, pressing up on her toes and cupping his jaw with both as she moves her lips in time with his. words, unless bathed in acerbity, were not her forte so she hoped this would speak loud enough.

she wants this. it’s an unceremonious realization, an afterthought while her lips press against his —- nevertheless, an important one. katherine solely wanted things that were advantageous, pawns for her grand games. this was different; she wants him because she feels the absence when he’s gone, because she actually smiles when he’s around, because, pressed against him like this, she feels light. after a few moments, katherine pulls back, letting her lips linger just breaths from his, gaze lifting from under inky lashes. “thank you.” for giving me a chance, she wants to add albeit punctuating with a kiss to the corner of his mouth instead. gratitude was a rarity for her but it was the simplest reciprocation she could offer.  katherine lets her hands come down around his neck, crossing over loosely in the back before she drops back down onto her heels. a smile tugs at the corner of her lips, “i still think you’re an idiot, you know that right?”

her fingers leave his, but it does nothing to dissuade his grip, pressing firmly into her back – nearly sinking into her skin if not for the thin cloth protection she wore. he needs her to understand her importance in his life. everything that’s happened between them, cruel words and unbearable crimes setting fire to their lives, this shouldn’t work. logic follows that he should hate her; there should be a stake hidden in his grasp, stealing her last breath for all the terror she’s inflicted to those he loved once. but enough time has passed for him to understand– sometimes to survive, one must do unspeakable things. there’s blood on his hands– innocent blood– something he once criticized her for. how could he condemn her for the very things he was willing to do to stay alive?

for so long, he considered her an unfeeling monster who only took glee from the despair of those around her. but with the walls coming down, he gets a glimpse of the woman underneath. a woman who dared the devil let her live and lost her family because of it. at the end of the world, how much different were they, truly? and as he feels her lips curl in a grin against his mouth, joshua knows one thing is certain. she was no saint, but katherine pierce was not damned.

his other arm moves to encircle her, desperate to fully experience the intoxication of her warmth. he’s sharply reminded, however, of what he had to do to get back to her. joshua tries to hide his expression as he plants a final kiss, forcibly exuding the confidence and gratitude of earlier. her comment draws a genuine laugh as he glances down in momentary sheepishness. “i’ll take that,” he concedes, his thumb moving absently against the small of her back. “i always seem to embarrass myself around you. funny how that happens.”

and though his body adamantly disagrees, the male finally relents and releases her, stepping back to create some kind of breathing space. no doubt she can hear his fragile little human heart pulsing away at an unnatural rhythm. “so what now?” such a simple question, with a complex counterpart. “even though your involvement was far more… subtle, there’s no way the fireflies don’t know you were there with asher that night…” he’d talk about it later with damon’s spawn– surely he’d understand. or, at the very least, would be willing to do it because joshua was the one asking. “maybe you should keep your head down for a while… you could come back to the black light district – with me…”